Not How I Wanted
by Annaleise Marie
Summary: [a/b/o] Sammy had never wanted Dean as his Alpha. Loved Dean, sure. Admired his big brother, of course. But not to the level of wanting him to take him, mate him, tie with him. Until one day he forgot his suppressants and the heat hit him hard. [kink; knotting, humiliation, h/c] [prompt fill] [PWP]
1. Part One

**Not How I Wanted**  
Annaleise Marie  
_cross-posted from livejournal  
username: girlgotagun_

**Full List of Kinks**: a/b/o, knotting, first time, humiliation, hurt/comfort  
**WARNING**: Dub-con? Maybe. It really depends on where you land in your moral code if a character isn't 100% in control of themselves and there's a certain amount of distress in their decision-making process. Fair warning, though.

**Part One**

**AN**: This story was originally written as a fill for a prompt in the December round on the spnkink-meme livejournal community. FFn doesn't allow links in documents, but if you want to see the original prompt you can check out my LJ, which is linked on my profile.

X

Dean stopped in his tracks as he entered the hotel room, freezing for only a beat before his hand flew to the butt of the Colt .45 tucked in the waistband of his jeans. The room was wrecked, the contents of both his and Sam's duffel bags strewn around the small space. Every drawer in the dresser, desk, and bedside tables was open, their contents dumped on the ground. And worse of all, the smell of a panicked omega hung thick in the air, making Dean's nostrils flare and muscles tense as his blood began to heat, his pulse racing.

He heard a drawer slam in the bathroom and began to creep towards the slightly-ajar door, gun leveled at the center. He heard someone moving, what sounded like them digging through his or Sam's toiletry bag. He took a deep breath to try to steady himself and instantly wished he hadn't as the smell of fear flooded him, spiking his vitals even further.

He kicked in the door, causing a startled yelp to crack through the air as the occupant of the bathroom spun and then dropped, pressing against the grimy linoleum floor. Dean recognized the figure, dropped the hand holding the gun and sunk to his knees. He felt like he was about to have a heart attack from the swirling mix of fear, aggression, and relief inside of him.

_Sammy. It was just Sammy._

His relief was short-lived when he realized his brother was sobbing, his face twisted in pain as he cowered on the floor. He leaned forward, bracing himself on his hands, and moved towards the prone figure, trying to find any sign of injury or whatever else might be causing the omega such distress.

_Mistake. Big mistake._

Under the heavy scent of fear was something sharper, more earthy-sweet. Dean knew that smell.

Heat. Sammy was in heat. Had been for awhile, judging by the mingled scent of arousal and slick. Dean felt his body start to react, his Alpha instincts kicking in and he cursed under his breath.

"Dammit, Sammy, what the hell?" Dean didn't know what else to say. Sam knew the drill. With their statuses, unless Sam was willing to accept Dean as his Alpha—a possibility that Sam had adamantly rejected his entire life—the omega needed to take suppressants. And he always had. The last time Dean had witnessed Sam in heat—_real, full-blown heat_—had been back when Sam first presented. That first heat had snuck up on him; John and Dean had been so sure that Sam was going to be an Alpha, like them, that the possibility of the youngest Winchester presenting as anything else never even crossed their mind until one day Dean woke up to the smell of his little brother's heat thick in the room and John pacing, hackles up, clearly agitated. John had left, commanding Dean to protect Sammy, and Dean had spent the next maddening week locked in that room as his brother alternated between screaming from the pain of his unfulfilled heat and screaming at Dean to _just stay away from him_.

It had hurt his pride a bit as an Alpha, if he were honest. But he got it. Sammy had just never seen him as _his_ Alpha. Loved Dean, sure. Admired his big brother, of course. But not to the level of wanting him to take him, mate him, tie with him.

So when John returned at the end of the week he brought suppressants with him, explaining to Sam that if they were going to stay together he needed to take them, to suppress his omega scent and his heat cycle. And Sam had taken them religiously, at least until he went to Stanford. Dean had no fucking clue what he had done then. But given that Sam hadn't been bred during those four years, hadn't been mated to an Alpha, preferring to live his happy little apple pie life with Jess, a beta, Dean thought it was safe to assume that he had taken them then, too.

So why was he here now, curled on the bathroom floor, in the throes of a full heat?

"The fuck happened, Sammy?" Dean asked again.

The omega raised his head, meeting Dean's eyes with his own pain and fear-filled ones. "Forgot my suppressants at the last motel, I think. I thought I grabbed them from the bathroom but now I can't find them anywhere." His voice was barely a whimper. "God, Dean; it hurts."

"Dammit, Sammy! How could you do something as stupid as leaving them behind?" Dean noticed Sam trying to press himself even flatter to the bathroom floor with a quiet whimper, tears streaming down his face as he tilted his head to expose his neck. Fuck, Dean knew that pose. That was the reaction of an omega scared shitless, reacting the smell of anger rolling off of an Alpha. Dean sighed, lowering himself to sit cross-legged, leaning back against the open bathroom door as he focused on controlling his breathing, slowing his racing pulse. He leaned his head back, closing his eyes. It had taken him a long time to learn to override his baser instincts, and it still wasn't easy, but he hated seeing his brother cowering on the floor like a common bitch. He tried to ignore the way his body was reacting to the smell of Sam's heat. He'd suffer through that for Sam; only ever for Sammy.

It was a few minutes before Sam began to relax, still whimpering in pain but no longer throwing out signals of fear. The omega curled in on himself, bringing his knees to his chest and breathing heavily. "Maybe…maybe you can find them. Maybe I'm just too out of my head." The slight edge of hope in Sam's voice nearly broke Dean's heart.

"Too late, baby boy." He reached out, his eyes still closed, still concentrating on keeping his body calm and his scent low. He found his brother's head and raked his fingers through his long hair. "Even if we found them, it'd just be a waste for you to take them now." Suppressants couldn't stop an omega's heat in its tracks. Sam would just have to ride it out.

Dean could get Sam through his heat, sure. But his little brother had made it clear, all those years ago, how he felt about Dean mating him, and Dean cared too much about the kid to offer when he was clearly in such distress. He'd do it, sure. If nature gave a single fuck about them being brothers, Dean would be immune to Sam's heat, which was certainly not the case. But he wouldn't—couldn't—pressure Sam into that. Couldn't live with himself if he did.

He felt Sam shift, felt him crawl towards him, and then the omega was resting his head on Dean's thigh, nestling into the spot where his thigh met his hip, breathing deeply. Dean knew he was scenting him, using his proximity to alleviate the pain of the heat. He smirked. Maybe he should feel a little used. But he just kept running his fingers through Sam's hair, every now and then letting a soft, soothing sound slip from his throat, and soon he felt the omega drift off to sleep.

X

Dean woke hours later when Sam began to stir. He groaned in discomfort as he worked out the stiffness in his neck, courtesy of sleeping against the door. He scented the air instinctively. Sam's arousal still hung heavy around them, but the bitter edge of pain and panic had subsided slightly as the omega slept. He heard Sam inhale deeply in turn, turning his head, still half-asleep, to rub his face against his thigh, the top of his head nudging Dean's dick through his jeans.

Dean through his head back, his teeth clenched. It wasn't fucking fair. Being stuck in a room with Sammy when he was half-ruled by his baser omega instincts, seeking out a touch that he had forbidden Dean from giving him…it was just plain fucking unfair.

"Dean…" The omega's voice was barely audible but with it came a powerful increase in scent. Lust, warm and thick, washed over Dean and filled his lungs, the earthy scent of slick redoubling. Fuck, Sam had to be dripping for the smell to be that strong.

Dean worked to talk around the tightening in his throat. "Yeah, Sammy." He inhaled sharply as his brother sat up, turning onto his hands and knees and leaning in to rub his cheek against Dean's. "What're you doing, Sammy."

"Need you…" Sam's voice was a wrecked plea. "Please, Dean. Hurts. Make it stop."

Dean took a deep breath, struggling to stay in control of himself, but the words were hitting all the right buttons to make him unleash his Alpha side. "Sam…"

"Need you. Help me." Sam's voice cracked on a sob. Dean could feel his heart breaking. He was torn between wanting to save his brother, protect him from pain like he always had, and wanting to claim him, fuck him raw, knot and tie with him.

"Sammy…" Dean swallowed hard, feeling the last of his control beginning to slip. "Sammy, if you really want me to I will; but it's not just gonna be this once. I claim you, knot you, maybe breed you—that's it, you're _mine_." It was important for Sam to realize this. Otherwise, Dean may as well have held him down and taken him by force. "If that's not what you want, baby boy, you need to stop asking me; I'm not gonna be able to stop myself if you keep that up."

There was a length of silence as his words seemed to land in Sam's mind. He watched his brother's heat-addled mind try to make sense of them, hoped he would. Hoped he could get away quick enough if Sam said no; his control was slipping fast. He gritted his teeth.

"Dean…" Sam's voice was a soft, lilting plea, the edge of tears thickening the word, his breath hot on Dean's neck. "Mate me, please."

And with that, Dean felt the last of his control shatter into a million little pieces.


	2. Part Two

**Not How I Wanted**  
Annaleise Marie  
_cross-posted from livejournal  
username: girlgotagun_

**Part Two**

X

Sam's mind was caught in a fog and he wasn't entirely sure what he had just agreed to, couldn't make Dean's words stick long enough to process.

_"…claim you, knot you, maybe breed you… Not gonna be able to stop myself…"_

Sam wanted all of that; needed it. Anything to make the pain stop, to satiate that aching emptiness ripping him apart inside.

He moved closer to his brother, scenting the Alpha, nuzzling the side of his face. "Please, Dean. Need it so bad. Need you inside of me." He gritted his teeth against a wave of pain. "Need your knot."

He felt the deep, rolling vibrations of the growl before it broke free from the Alpha's throat. A strong hand gripped his jaw and his head was jerked up to angle his face towards Dean's. The Alpha's pupils were completely blown out, eclipsing the familiar bright green nearly completely. Dean leaned in, pressing his lips to Sam's, his teeth nipping lightly at his swollen bottom lip. Sam let out a pitiful sort of mewling sound, his hands moving to tangle in Dean's henley, his body arching into the Alpha's hard chest.

Dean growled again and stood quickly, pulling Sam to his feet and then turning him to walk him backward to the bed. Sam felt the edge of the mattress against the back of his knees, and then he was falling back, his back hitting the bed a half second before the Alpha was covering him, his hands yanking at his shirt, tugging it up, urging Sam without words to raise up and let him pull it off. Sam complied before laying back and lifting his hips as Dean quickly turned his attention to his pants. He heard the sharp, hissing intake of breath as his sweatpants and boxers were dragged down, releasing the full scent of his slick into the air.

"So fuckin' _wet_, baby boy…" Dean's voice was a low growl as he moved down Sam's body to inspect his hole. "God, you must need it so bad. Need me to split you open on my cock, fuck you deep, knot you…"

Sam arched his back, trying to find the words to tell Dean to _fucking do it_, but all that came out was a strangled sob and a broken, "Please…D-Dean…"

"Getting there, baby, hang on."

Then Sam was being spun onto his stomach, Dean's strong hands guiding him roughly to his knees, his shoulders still nearly touching the bed. He heard the sound of his brother's zipper and then the muffled sound of the jeans hitting the floor as he shifted behind him. Rough hands ran over his hips, thumbs pressing into the meat of his ass as his cheeks were pulled apart for the Alpha's inspection.

"Have you ever had anyone here, baby boy?" Dean's voice was a sensual murmur as he ran a thumb over the dripping pucker. Sam shook his head, his face buried in his arms. He smelled Dean's pleasure at the answer and it sent a wave of pleasure through him in turn, making him moan.

"Christ, Sammy," Dean groaned. "Gonna take you hard, give you what you need. Knot and breed you like a bitch. Then later I'm gonna put you in my lap, have you ride my cock. After that I'll give it to you nice and slow, show you what this means to me…"

Sam nearly sobbed at the tenderness in his brother's voice when he spoke the last sentence. God, he wanted that. Wanted all of it. Needed it more than he had ever needed anything in his life.

And then Dean was pushing into him, his cock sliding easily into the tight passage with the incredible amount of lubrication Sam was producing. Dean ground out a curse as he became fully-sheathed, pausing to catch his breath as Sam's muscles squeezed and fluttered around his dick.

"Fuck, Sammy," he rasped as he started to thrust, Sam immediately pressing back, chasing the filling pressure of the Alpha's dick. "God, baby boy, you feel so fucking good. Feels so right, taking you like this. Wanted this for so fucking long. Since your first heat. Never thought…"

Dean's voice choked off as he felt his knot begin to swell. Later, he would try to hold off longer. But for now, this was what Sam's body needed, what would really ease the pain and the fever. He slammed in deep, grinding his hips as his knot began to fill, tying him to Sammy and rubbing against the omega's prostate with each slow movement of Dean's hips. He felt the fluttering of Sam's muscles increase and then his brother let out a loud, keening wail, arching his back. He came hard, his muscles slamming down around Dean's dick, milking him and driving him over the final ledge of his orgasm. He released deep inside Sam, his cock pulsing as his seed sprayed forth, filling the omega, mixing with his slick. Dean felt a heady rush of pride that only came with knotting an omega in heat; felt high with it as he pulled Sam against him to avoid pulling the knot against his tight opening and shifted them onto their sides.

He wrapped his arms around his little brother protectively, resting his forehead between his shoulder blades.

"Mine," he muttered before sleep claimed him.

X

Dean woke in a panic hours later, disoriented and trying to sort out his human mind from his baser instinct. The spot that Sam had occupied was empty, Dean's knot having receded and his cock slipped out of the omega while he slept. There was a sharp stabbing in his chest, a vice-like squeezing around his lungs. He had never felt a panic like this before and he knew, instantly, what was happening, what had caused it.

His mated omega was rejecting him.

He let out a pained growl, unable to move, his teeth clenched tight enough that he thought he might crack a cap. He worked to calm down enough to open his mouth, to coax his vocal cords to work. He had heard about this, had heard other Alpha's talk about the pain in hushed, solemn voices filled with pity when it happened to a brother, but had never thought he would experience it himself. It was more all-consuming, more immobilizing than any pain he had ever experienced before. Dean had broken bones, had been shot, stabbed, tossed into walls…but _damn_. This…this hurt.

"Sammy…" It took everything in him to barely call out the name. He was slipping further into his Alpha mind, relying more on scent than sight as he tried to figure out where the omega had gone. The pain, that was a result of pheromones that the omega was putting off, but that also meant that he had to be nearby. He tried to scent him out, locate the source of the smell.

The bathroom. He was ninety percent sure that Sam was in the bathroom, hadn't actually left the motel room itself. He worked to loosen his throat again, to calm the panic.

"Sammy!" His voice was louder this time. He heard a scuffling sound and then the bathroom door opened and Dean nearly sobbed in relief.

"Dean?" Sam rushed over, sitting on the bed and leaning over Dean. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"What…what're you doing, Sam?" Dean was confused; couldn't figure out why Sam would ask that. He couldn't possibly not know, could he?

"Not doing anything, Dean. I was just showering." Sam looked as confused as Dean felt.

Dean groaned, wanting to scream as the panic/pain continued to rip through him. "Fuck, Sam, you weren't _just showering_. Fuck you. Fucking be a man and at least have the balls to say it!"

Sam began to withdraw into himself as Dean's anger washed over him. "I'm sorry, Dean." That voice, the same one he would use when Dean caught him doing something he shouldn't when he was a kid. It set off a different sort of pain in the Alpha. "I don't know what you're talking about—"

"_Fuck!_" Dean was at the end of his wits, unable to take any more of the bullshit. "You're fucking rejecting me, Sam. My mate is rejecting me and it _hurts_." He took a deep breath, didn't care if the next part made him sound like a bitch. "Feel like I'm gonna fucking die."

Sam brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them before burying his face against them. When he spoke, his voice was small and muffled. "This wasn't how I wanted it to happen…how I wanted to be mated…"

"_Fuck you, Sammy!_" Dean was in so much pain, so angry he couldn't see straight. He was diving further into his baser self with every second, ready to snap at anyone who poked at the wounds. "Fuck you and fuck what you wanted. I told you that if I did that…if I did _what you asked me to_, that was it. You were mine. And you agreed. You _fucking begged_, Sam. So fuck you." He was too mad, too ready to attack, but he couldn't actually move away from Sam, his instincts wouldn't let him move away from his omega physically, now that their emotional connection was being denied. "Just a fucking bitch in heat."

Sam looked up, startled, and Dean could see the deep pain his words had caused in his little brother's eyes.

"Don't say that to me, Dean. Don't you ever say that." Sam could feel the pain starting in him. "I love you, Dean. I do. I just don't want…_didn't want_…to be mated like that. In heat. Out of necessity."

Dean let out a bitter laugh. "When did you think it was gonna happen, genius?"

Sam tossed his hands in the air in exasperation. "I don't know, Dean, I thought a Tuesday might be nice." He shook his head. "I guess I wanted it to just _happen_, 'cause me an' an Alpha wanted to be mated to each other. Not 'cause it _had_ to happen." He chewed his lip, turning his thoughts and emotions over. "It's not that I don't want you, Dean. I guess I'm trying to reject _how_ it happened. Wasn't how I wanted it. Not like that."

"Fuck, Sammy, you can't reject _how it happened_ without your scent making my body think you're rejecting _me_. So I'm sorry, but you're gonna need to let that go because _you're fucking hurting me_."

Dean watched his little brother, waited for him to speak, but no words ever came from the omega. Little by little, though, over the next hour or so, the pain began to ebb. When he could finally breath, finally think clearly, finally move, he reached out and pulled Sam against him, a relieved sob escaping his throat.

"God, Sammy. Please don't fucking do that again." He rubbed the omega's back in soft, soothing circles. "I'm sorry it wasn't how you imagined it. I'm sorry it had to happen like that, that it wasn't just a Tuesday or whatever. But don't think that I'll want this any less when you're heat passes. It happened during your heat, yeah, but that's not _why_ I want you as my mate." He felt Sam burrow deeper into his chest and he leaned down to kiss the top of his shower-damp hair. "Love you, baby boy."

"Love you, Dean."

**The End.**  
_I hope you enjoyed it. :)_


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